So today I was waiting for the bus after I got my hair cut and this guys sits next to me.

Guy: you look like a lesbian.
Me: what?
Guy: you look like a lesbian, your hair is too short.
Me: so?
Guy: So guys don't like it.
Me: and I should care because...?
Guy: you're not gonna get laid with that hair.
Me: well, thankfully I like women even more than you so trust me, I am gonna get laid.
Guy: oh, you're into chicks? That's hot.. Apart from the hair I'd fuck you.
Me: ...
Guy: ...
Me: I CHANGED MY MIND YES TAKE ME I'M YOURS!
Guy: what?
Me: (SCREAMING LIKE THE END OF THE WORLD IS HERE) OH SHIT SLAM ME AGAINST THAT WALL AND FUCK ME IN THE ASS PLEASE DO IT OH GOD I NEED YOUR DICK!
Guy: you're fucking weird. (stands up)
Me: OH... OH WHAT'S WRONG? AM I MAKING YOU UNCOMFORTABLE?! WELL, THAT SUCKS, BOOHOO PRINCESS! NOW GO BACK TO THE PIT YOU LIVE IN AND GO FUCK YOURSELF!
(Guy leaves. I sit down)
Old lady sitting next to me: that was faboulous.